Relegation is an unspeakably bitter pill for any fan to swallow, but the Guardian’s Steve Wilson tackles the issue from the neutral or non-fan’s perspective, offering five reasons why the EPL wouldn’t miss relegation-threatened Reading and Fulham, home to seven current or former American internationals.
Reading manager Steve Coppell is the first reason the Royals won’t be missed; Wilson says his “voice is the aural equivalent of ingesting a packet of Valium and taking a warm bath, then staying in there until it gets cold.” The second reason is Reading’s dismissive treatment of the FA Cup. Striker Dave Kitson in January said he “couldn’t give two sh**ts” about the tournament, while Coppell has never apologized for fielding weakened teams for FA Cup matches. Other reasons include getting to and from the stadium, and Coppell’s complacent refusal to improve the side after finishing eighth last season.
As for Fulham, well, Wilson gives all the kudos for Jimmy Bullard for having to carry the side. “Had Bullard been fit all season, perhaps Fulham wouldn’t be in the trouble they find themselves now,” he says, making no mention of American Brian McBride’s lengthy injury absence, which was just as if not even more debilitating for the Cottagers than Bullard’s. Other reasons the EPL won’t miss Fulham include the club’s inoffensiveness; the fact that Fulham was fighting for Europe in December before falling so precipitously; owner Mohammed Al Fayed, whose financial clout has been badly outstripped by the likes of Chelsea’s Roman Abramovich and Manchester United’s Glazer family; and finally, Fulham’s annoying mascot, Billy the Badger.