In England, it is a rite of passage for players who become global stars to pen their autobiography. Often, they sign on to do so with huge cash advances from book publishers, as a major player’s autobiography is an almost guaranteed success. The Guardian’s Marina Hyde calls attention to the fact that no less than three such memoirs will have come out in a four-week period; those of Wayne Rooney, Frank Lampard and Ashley Cole. Why? It’s the offseason, that’s why, and savvy publishers realize that for millions of Brits forced off football for six weeks a year, the pseudo-memoirs of 25-year-old soccer superstars offer the perfect antidote to fill that void. Frank Lampard’s “Totally Frank” is the volume chosen today by Marina Hyde, and stirring stuff it is, indeed. She writes: “Naturally, it’s all there. Frank’s riches-to-riches story, the impression that he’s the first person ever to become a father, the charity work. I dare you to give a stuff.” A few highlights: Lampard marvels at Roman Abramovich’s billions while on a two-week holiday aboard his yacht. He dismisses a video linking him to a sex orgy with fellow England internationals Rio Ferdinand and Kieron Dyer as a simple “error of judgment” (he’s both married and a father), and finally, he reveals to us that even as he was taking the penalty he would miss that sent England’s penalty challenge into a downward spiral he was still thinking: “This is England’s year. This is our time.”