At 6 years old, I was a Saint.
The Saints. That was my first soccer team. I doubt I knew what it meant but I had heard the song about the marching Saints. And I was proud to be a Saint.
In college, I became a Golden Bear. I was proud to be a Bear. I could have been a Banana Slug, had I attended UC Santa Cruz.
My nickname experience – I was a whole lot of things between Sainthood and Beardom – helped make me a sports sobriquet expert. It’s too late for the 12 MLS teams, who would not seek my counsel, but with expansion and a new women’s league on the horizon, I offer free advice so others will not err.
No. 1. Plural names are best. They roll off the tongue better and don’t cause grammar problems – e.g. the Fire are good.
No. 2. A regional reference may engender affection, so go for it, unless it’s a natural disaster everyone in your area is scared stiff of.
No. 3. Try animal names. There must be something appealing about them, because every American league has had them – until MLS came along.
No. 4. Check the dictionary and pick a proper beast. Not doing so has given us teams like the W-League’s New Jersey Lady Stallions. A stallion is an uncastrated male horse.
No. 5. Try the “I’m proud to be a ____” test. “I’m proud to be a MetroStar,” sounds good (and maybe one day we’ll actually hear it), but “I’m proud to be a Burn” doesn’t.
If you don’t follow Tips 1 & 5, you can’t use a phrase like, “He was the outstanding Rhino on the field.”
No. 6. If you put decent soccer on the field and treat your fans well, your name, no matter what it is, will start sounding good.
FANS, LET’S HEAR YOUR VIEW Click here to log onto (Soccer) American Graffiti. Then click on the topic titled “YOUR VIEW: What’s in a nickname?” and respond to MIKE WOITALLA in 200 words or less. Best responses may be reprinted in Soccer America Magazine. If YOUR View is selected, we’ll send you a cool T-shirt and pin… Because You’re FANATIC.