Dr. Sulaiman Al Fahim is the front man of Manchester City’s likely new owners, the Abu Dhabi United Group, and he has already mentioned the possibility of paying in the region of $250 million for Cristiano Ronaldo because City “is going to be the biggest club in the world.” Splashing out cash like that, writes Marina Hyde, means that he could add the team to his portfolio of loss leaders that includes a TV reality show, Hydra Executives — Abu Dhabi’s answer to The Apprentice.
Hyde proposes merging the two entities: “Given the shared aims between the two ventures — both TV show and football club exist for the glorification of the emirate — would it not make sense for the good doctor to fuse them, and immediately begin shooting a reality series focusing on Manchester City?”
Players could be set tasks “such as finishing in the top four of the Premier League, or enticing Cristiano Ronaldo to join without being able to promise him Champions League football, or stimulating $2bn property investment in Abu Dhabi, at the same time as distracting from its human rights record.”
“These tasks,” she continues, “will ideally lead to the holy grail of reality: conflict. Having said that, a credible punishment system also stimulates ratings, so failure to comply could result in team-mates being sent to one of UAE’s fine prisons, which may have failed to meet with the approval of those Lord Longfords in the U.S. State Department, but are probably built in the shape of palm trees.”