Tim Kawakami of the San Jose Mercury News says there was something thoroughly American about Zinedine Zidane’s head-butt against Marco Materazzi in the World Cup final on Sunday afternoon. “With poetic timing, Zidane summoned his inner Mike Tyson, providing us all with a brutally and beautifully American moment at the climax of the galaxy’s most-watched event,” he says jovially. “That’s so Roger Clemens!” In contrast to its understanding of soccer’s nuances, Kawakami says Zidane’s retaliation was both “angry and compelling,” something mainstream America could identify with. As for the maneuver itself: “I’m pretty sure Tyson, Hayes, Clemens, Bobby Knight, Dennis Rodman and John McEnroe invented that move.” With great enthusiasm, he goes on to recount similar moments in sports history, like Tyson biting Holyfield’s ear off, twice. Zidane, he says, has now started his own list: “soccer stars whose psyches matter in America, whose actions are worth long and fierce debate.” Shouldn’t we all be glad, then, for the sake of soccer in the U.S., that Zidane’s disgrace appealed to this fine American subset of Sportscenter zombies, and the blow-hard pundit preachers who feed their appetite for such tabloid quality flare-ups? Not too sure about that.